Hi – I’m Jill Johnson, I told my daughter-in-law, Melissa that I would be speaking at a women’s gathering and asked her to pray for me because I’m nervous. She said “Oh, you’ll be fine, just think of them as your students…..the only difference will be is that the women will actually listen.”
My story is one of God’s faithfulness – His hand was guiding my life even when I didn’t see it or feel it. God has taken me from a life of fear and a mindset of scarcity – ‘will I run out of money’ to an attitude of gratefulness and a firm belief in His provision and that all I have is His.
I grew up in an alcoholic home – my mother was a secretary and my father a truckdriver. I was the middle of six kids. Money was scarce – at Xmas time our Christmas Tree came from school (back in those days all elementary classrooms had one – and at xmas break, whoever didn’t have a tree could take the classroom tree home) or we’d get one on Xmas Eve when the tree lots would give them away. And we constantly had bill collectors calling and us kids would have to say our parents weren’t home. Unlike my parents, I was a born saver – as soon as I got birthday or babysitting money – I saved it. My parents even used to borrow from me.
My dad was a violent drinker and sometimes came home at 2:00 am, get everyone out of bed to clean the house or smack one of us for some infraction. I was also sexually abused which led to low self- esteem and a constant sense of fear.
Despite the chaotic behavior, my parents modeled generosity. Our friends were always welcome to eat or sleep over – some of my brother’s friends stayed for weeks; my dad was always fixing cars – usually for a few beers; my mom volunteered for her secretary organizations and they volunteered us kids to help neighbors – mowing lawns or babysitting.
My mother was brought up in a Christian home so she brought us to church. My Grandma once told me that God had his hand on my life because I was the only child my parents dedicated to God as a baby. I was very close to my aunt who showed me the love of Christ. I wanted to become a nun and when I was 12, I went forward in a church service to become a missionary.
I married young at 18 to a Christian boy from church and was devasted when he left me and our 3-year-old son after 7 years. Fear led me to marry again within a year and I had 2 more kids. My 2nd husband was a kind, gentle man but a closet alcoholic. I never knew there were so many places to hide liquor in a house – including in diet coke, which the kids took swigs from. This marriage was full of broken promises, trouble with his job and DUIs. His younger brother died of alcoholism at 36 and I became convinced my husband would also die young. One of the DUIs – with the kids in the back seat – brought child protection into our lives. During this time, I was pregnant with our 4th child, suicidal and saw no way out. But child protection turned out to be a blessing in disguise, the case worker was a Christian, who got me into counseling and got state paid daycare so I could go back to college.
Fear led me to choose Engineering for a degree. I knew I had to have a ‘good’ job, that paid well so that I could provide for my family – since my husband was going to die. Engineering is a tough degree to pursue especially with 4 kids, working full-time and going to school full-time so I could continue getting scholarships to pay for it.
Once I graduated and got my engineering job, my husband begged to work part-time because if he wasn’t under so much stress, he wouldn’t drink. Not true – he drank more – so after 23 years, the marriage ended in divorce. His mother moved in with me to help with the kids because I had to travel quite a bit. When my MIL passed away, I changed jobs to teaching engineering, both at the college level as an adjunct professor and at an inner-city high school where the students could earn college credit. I taught for 18 years. (Did you catch that I had 2 jobs? Fear – I needed that job security)
My generosity during this time consisted of volunteering at my kid’s schools, girl-scout leader, SS teacher, Robotics coach and I organized STEM camps for inner-city youth. My giving was confined to my church – because I was cash-flowing my children’s college education. With a 16-year spread between my 4 kids, it seemed once I graduated, one of them was always in college. Remember when I said I was a saver and led a life a fear? Well, that meant, I always signed up for retirement savings through my jobs – 401Ks and IRA and I bought company stock whenever I was given the chance.
My investments grew – due to the stock market and the magic of compound interest. I knew I had a large IRA but I was afraid it wasn’t enough because it had to last 30 years of retirement. When I retired at 66, I discovered I had more than enough to live on with social security, 2 pensions (one from college and one from school district) and a deferred annuity I bought (just in case the stock market crashed). My Christian financial advisor, which I hired to help me figure out retirement, gave me a reality check by telling me my RMDs (required minimum distributions) would be $300-400K/year and heavily taxed, once I was in my late 70’s. So, he began helping me get from an accumulation mode (save, save, save) to a spending mode – not an easy task for a saver.
During the pandemic, congress changed the tax laws so that donations would be 100% tax deductible. My advisor, knowing that I am charitable minded, explained that meant that I could donate some of my IRA and it would all go to charity – not taxes. My only consequence would be a higher Medicare surcharge for one year.
And speaking of the pandemic and my fear – I was a basket case. I was terrified because so many people were dying – especially older people. I was frantic, so I turned to God. I joined online bible studies, read Christian e-books through the library and fully committed my life to the Lord. While counseling helped straighten out my life, it didn’t take away my fear……but God did.
Getting back to tax law – in 2021, I gave a million dollars from my IRA to charity. I only had a month to pick the charities. I talked to my pastor, financial advisor and even put an anonymous post on a retirement FB page asking for good charities. After researching websites, I gave to the Shepherd’s Fund (for pastors and missionaries), my church foundation, a minister in Haiti to start a children’s feeding program and HOPE International. While all the organizations sent a thank-you, HOPE International reached out asking how they could help me. Lori Chambers invited me to online events – one where I heard Kim King speak of her path to generosity.
HOPE also invited me and my husband to a HOPE conference. (I married last Oct – I’m no longer afraid) That conference and a lot of prayer, changed my husband’s view of giving and we’re now implementing generosity into our estate plan.
Back to the Million-dollar donation – I wrestled with what to tell my kids and what to share with others. I don’t want anyone to think I’m bragging or that I’m some kind of saint. My kids knew I had money because once my financial advisor encouraged me to spend my money, I took them and their families on trips to Sweden, Disney and the Greek Isles. So, I decided to tell my children how much I had and what they could expect as an inheritance. I explained that I feel this is God’s money and I want to be a good steward of it. Our family has been blessed and we need to bless others. All 4 of them have picked up my saving mentality and now I’d like to intentionally help them explore generosity.
I found Women Doing Well from Kim King’s book “When Women Give” which HOPE sent me after the online event. I went through the WDW pathway journeys with Vivian Flynn. I’ve found a like- minded community – I finally have girlfriends – something I never had time for raising 4 kids and seldom met working as an engineer. I’m discovering my purpose and passion. My 2-word purpose statement is “inspiring hope” and my mission statement (which I picked up from Tim Mohns as I was studying for a pathway session) is “God prospers us not to increase our standard of living but to increase our standard of giving.” Why give to Christian organizations? Because JESUS CHANGES LIVES. I am not the generous one here – God is! He gave His son.
And because of Him, my life changed from a life led by fear to a life of trusting in HIM filled with joy and peace.